Advice for parents with ADHD: Your parents’ advice probably won’t make a difference today for a child with ADHD

Kids with ADHD really have a hard time today. Many of them not only struggle in school, with relationships, and at home, but also grapple with the ghosts of our past. If you think about it, most parents get their particular approach to raising their children from a direct source: their parents.

From our parents, we tend to develop a style that considers:

1. What we felt worked.
2. What we felt did not work.

And maybe we will also add our own personal flavor of parenting based on what we would have liked to experience ourselves.

At one point or another, I often hear two very common phrases in my office. The first is that many parents do not want their children to make the same mistakes they do. That’s admirable, and I feel that way too. But again, the mistakes we made are what got us to where we are today.

Now, it’s the second comment that generally creates the most problems and conflicts when it comes to raising a child with ADHD (or any child for that matter). I bet you’ve heard a ton yourself, and maybe you’ve said it before:

“My parents would never tolerate this kind of behavior from me when I was a kid.”

While I understand the comment, I must tell you that your parents could never raise your child today, the way they raised you. The times are different. It’s that easy. Children today are different from what they were 10 years ago, and certainly different from more than 20 years ago.

Now add a child with ADHD who is growing up in a society with such incredibly overwhelming expectations. Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not questioning your parents. Thats not all. Instead, I want to point out that times have changed. Society has changed. Technology has changed and our dreams are getting bigger.