Coping with separation anxiety and the terrible twos

One of the hardest things my wife and I encountered with our first child was separation anxiety from those first few times in daycare. I must say that we also made several, if not all, of the mistakes listed below.

I wish there was some way to explain to our young children that when we have to leave them in a strange place with other strangers, it hurts as much as it hurts and scares them, sometimes parents feel it even more!

Much like separation anxiety or leaving your child, even if only for a moment, can hurt a lot and our child may seem devastated, the caregivers are really telling the truth when they tell you that they only cried for a few minutes and then had a great day. ! Of course, it’s a different story sometimes, but for the most part, it always ends well and our own behavior plays a big role in how they deal with the breakup.

Read the tips below and see how it goes!

1. Take charge and stay in control!

This is your number one priority! It goes without saying that you will feel as scared, worried, worried, or excited as they do. However, you cannot show this emotion as it will cause your young children’s fears to be turned off immediately.

What worked for us was talking about how much fun they were going to have and how sorry we missed it!

2. The art of goodbye

The worst thing you can do is lengthen the goodbye with lots of extra hugs and kisses and just persist in general to “make sure they’re okay.”

This tells your child that you are also a little concerned about him and his surroundings, which again will not allow him to settle down comfortably.

All you need to do is give them a hug and a kiss and confidently tell them that you are leaving now, that you will be back soon, and have a great day.

I have seen many parents try to use the “quick escape” approach. This is when you wait for your child to look away or pick up a toy and then quickly sneak away while distracted. Your son is not stupid and sooner rather than later he will realize that you have gone and left him alone without saying goodbye. This breeds distrust faster than anything else.

3. Socializing is very relaxing

It is much easier to leave your child in the hands of people you know and trust.

Socializing whenever possible with the nursery caregivers in the small windows that are obtained in the pick-up and drop-off or in the days of family fun around the center are invaluable to break the ice and get to know both the teachers and the parents of other children.

If possible, try to arrange some play dates with the other children in your child’s class outside of the center. This will allow them to see more familiar faces when you leave them, and you, too, could make new friends.

4. make friends with the teacher

You have just left your most precious and beloved possession! Doesn’t it make a lot of sense to try to make friends and build a relationship between you and your toddler’s teacher or caregiver? They do not have to conquer you and, in fact, it is the other way around.

Being friends with the teacher will ensure that your child picks up on the positive vibes and trust him as a result.

In addition, you will always hear more details about your day, the problems you may have had, and you will be much more successful in organizing meetings or time to see them to talk about your child.

5. Be on time

We’ve already discussed how lengthy goodbyes can cause separation anxiety, but a late pickup can do the same damage.

Your child, just like any other child in that room, will always look toward the door in advance to see who Mom or Dad has come to pick them up from each time it is opened.

Like being picked last for school sports teams, being last is terrible, especially if it happens regularly. As much as possible, try to be on time for the pick-up and try not to leave them for last too often.

Separation anxiety is just another challenge on the road to parenthood, but with the right strategies and helpful tips, you’ll get through it with flying colors and move on to your next terrible couples challenge (or 3, 4 and more!).