How to be as confident as Tom Cruise

You’ve seen him dodge bullets, you’ve seen him bring the bad guys to justice, and you’ve even seen him blend effortlessly with the rich and beautiful. Whether he’s the action hero in Mission Impossible or the secretive Jack Reacher, one thing’s for sure: Tom Cruise has enough self-confidence to light up a city.

However, don’t be fooled by appearances. It’s easy to watch movies and get the wrong idea about what self-confidence really is. You may have the wrong impression and push yourself too hard, you may think that you must be very confident in all situations and all the time or you are failing, failing badly. But that would not be true. You can be sure that Tom Cruise has self-doubts sometimes, just like the rest of us, he just never finds out about it.

Confidence has an ebb and flow like any other feeling, and that’s it, a feeling, a feeling that “yes, I can do it.” And it doesn’t take much to undermine self-confidence. If you have a few days with very little sleep and without a good diet, you will become less physically and emotionally capable. You will be weaker, you will not have as much confidence. And for good reason, you will have less of a feeling of being able to do what needs to be done. In other words, you will have less self-confidence.

Of course, this never seems to happen to Tom Cruise. You can enjoy high-speed car chases, stay up all night chasing criminals, and still exude that laid-back charisma that makes the female lead smile. Unfortunately, that’s not real life and it’s not a good standard against which to self-assess your self-confidence.

What can you do to increase your self-confidence?

Take good care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs every day, and you’ll have a solid foundation from which to express your natural self-confidence. Eat foods that give you energy and avoid those that weaken your body, rest and get what you need, and spend time with caring and understanding people. Do all of this consistently and you’ll be in the best possible position to say yes to life, say yes to new challenges, and persevere and succeed where others give up.

These same principles apply to have more confidence in people. You may know what to say to people and you may even know how to approach strangers and get people to talk, but none of that will work too well if you are having a bad day. If you are worried about urgent problems, tired, hungry or unsupported, all of these problems will weaken your trust with people. And if this happens, don’t beat yourself up for it. Just watch what happened and, more importantly, how you got into that bad state of mind. Only then will you be able to identify what changes you need to make.

For example, in the last few days I have been drinking too much coffee, spending too much time in front of the computer and forgetting to eat at lunchtime. And this is fine for a day, but this continued for a few days. The next thing I know, I’m meeting people and my mind goes blank, I’m not sure what to say and I can’t be bothered to have a little chat. Why? Because I destroyed my confidence in myself by weakening my body. I became less capable because I got tired. So, then I realize, oh yeah, I’m off balance. It’s time to exercise more, establish a better meal routine, and spend less time looking at the computer.

Then the trust starts to flow again. I feel energetic, happy and connected with people, I enjoy meeting people again and everything starts to fall into place.

So my point is that confidence takes fuel, and you provide that fuel by taking good care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs. As you get stronger, you will feel capable of accomplishing more – that is, you will become more confident. So naturally you start to stretch beyond your comfort zone, you’re on a roll, and before you know it, maybe you start feeling like you’re Tom Cruise!