Take the conversation to the next level

Not long ago, an acquaintance, Jared Kent, and I were discussing some of the challenges we face when conversing with others in public, at a party, or in a group when everyone has dropped to the lowest common denominator; the weather, a TV show, a new tech gadget, or an event in the newspaper. It’s hard for a high IQ person to deal with, but then again, not everyone has the intellect to hold a decent dialogue, or if they do, they’ve learned not to bother, because few can. Let’s talk.

Jared asks; “Lance, I’d like to hear some of your thoughts on how you’ve had luck effectively holding a conversation at a higher level.”

Oh well, you know, I ask someone what kind of work they do, ask about their jersey, many have logos, company names, sayings, sports. So I ask you a question, not a simple one, out of curiosity; What do you think about? Let the other person pick the topics, it’s more fun that way, you get their passionate responses, their insight, what they really think, not what they’re supposed to say at work, for example.

They may have wanted to give their opinion, but their emotional EQ – IQ tells them that it is better not to if they want to get along with office politics, get promoted and keep their friends too. Even the stupid ones give an idea. Sometimes the crazy ones are the funniest, they give me ideas, innovative thoughts, even science fiction story themes.

What happens when they don’t want to talk about heavy topics, or want to take the conversation down a notch to say “what about those Yankees?”

Well, in that case, I say; just unplug let them play the cocktail party shit they may have a Phd but they’re not interested in intense conversations ok find someone who is, or ask them really good questions that will draw them in ask them think, keep asking questions. You can take them out, maybe they start asking you questions, take them some more, if you see them contemplating, skip two more, just for fun, if you find them generally still interested, take them all the way. the top of your knowledge band, then challenge theirs as well. Why not? It’s actually quite exhilarating to get your brain going at full throttle for a while.

You might find other people who join in the dialogue on purpose or let go easily, well that means you’ll have more people to talk to in the future, if it’s a coffee shop for example. Remember that even a stupid person has 15 minutes worth of repertoire, and when they’re drinking caffeine and their neurons are firing, it can give you something of interest. Most of the people I’ve met, their brains get tired after 45 minutes to an hour. Super thinkers can go on and on and never stop, they are thinking as they go. That’s fun, you can cover a lot that way, jumping from topic to topic, think later.

I reminded Jared how I originated the discussion and the speech; “Do you remember that I asked you to choose a topic, any topic, an ongoing dialogue?” And that’s how Jared and I started our intellectual discourse. Now here’s another tip before I end this article; older people are better but not too old not too academically elitist they just think they’re smart but not as smart as a fox more like as smart as a box the box they’ve grown their brain in and can’t Get out of. Please consider all this and think about it.