10 Tips for Successful Online Dating

I’ve been asked many times where I met my husband, so I decided to write about it here along with 10 tips for successful online dating. Online dating and I have come a long way back to be honest. I talked to a few until I met my husband in mid-2011. We got engaged and married the following year. It was, you could say, a fast-paced romance, but you’ll know and feel when the relationship is forever.

I know many of you will frown or raise your eyebrows, but this article is intended for those who are seriously looking to find their soulmate online. I also tried the old school dating scene, so I got to try the best and worst of both worlds, so to speak.

So if you want to meet someone online to bring them into their real world, here are 10 tips for successfully hooking up your partner (trust me, it doesn’t involve rocket science):

01. CREATE A WELL THOUGHT OUT PROFILE

Write and rewrite what you will include in your profile. Sleep on it. Your profile should be well thought out and contain a catchy headline, your picture, and biographical information about yourself. Your profile is your only chance to make a good impression. Be detailed to some extent, but don’t write a story. Keep it short, simple and positive and don’t forget to check your spelling.

Bonus tip: Instead of writing about your personality, let your personality shine through in the words you’ll use on your profile.

02. THE IMAGE PAINTS A THOUSAND WORDS

For the profile photo, if you have one with minimal makeup, use it: the more natural it looks, the better. Suffice it to say, don’t send a photo with you, your family, and your entire host of friends. Your profile is yours and the image must be only you. Oh, and yes, ditch the sunglasses.

03. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

But you have to learn to create a curiosity gap. You don’t have to spill all the beans. You just have to make sure that everything you write in your profile is the truth, zero lies. You should also be honest when exchanging emails. Never fabricate information to appear cool. Be yourself!

Bonus tip: You should also be honest with yourself. Know what you want (preference) and stick with it.

04. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE (just another drink)

Don’t be discouraged when you can’t seem to find an interesting person or at least a decent profile. Remember, nothing worthwhile is easy. I created my profile in 2007 and only started talking to my husband four years later. Four years is like an eternity in the world of online dating, so to speak.

When you finally find the “one,” be patient, too. Do not rush! Just let the relationship blossom into the next phase. Getting too attached too soon could hurt you a lot in the end.

05. DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ

Ask questions. Learn to read between the lines. Take notes. Google the person’s name and see if you can find any information about him or her. When I say don’t believe everything you read, I simply mean that you shouldn’t be gullible and just believe that you just found the inventor of post-it notes on the dating site you signed up with. Oh, and yeah, don’t fall for sweet talkers easily either.

06. COLLECT AND SELECT

Yes, you read it right! You have to collect – talk to different people and rate them and based on your own rating system you can select. Don’t settle for the first one that crosses your path. Of course, keep your options open. Take the opportunity to choose: after all, it is a numbers game.

07. MAKE THE MOVE

Don’t just wait and sit. Make the first move if you feel like doing it. Nobody will judge you.

08. ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS

If you signed up on the dating site to find someone to date and build a relationship with, you need to learn how to adjust your expectations. Don’t wait for a fantasy to happen. Be realistic and don’t start imagining that the other person is the “perfect” person because, again, no one is perfect. We all have defects.

09. BE OPEN TO FINDING YOUR MATCH

Let’s go! Forever will not wait for you. I guess two weeks of texting back and forth is the perfect time as in my experience with my husband. We spend at least 4 hours every day talking (even if we live in different time zones) and getting to know each other. After two weeks he decided to book a flight to the Philippines to meet me and the rest is history. So yes, when there is an opportunity to meet, go ahead and introduce yourself.

10. SAFETY IS A PRIORITY

When exchanging messages, do not provide too much information about yourself. Do not give out your social security number or passwords. You can never be 100% sure about the other person until you finally meet. The meeting may not assure you that the other person is genuine, so don’t hand your trust over on a silver platter. Take calculated risks.

When you decide to get together, tell a friend or family member where you’re going. When I met my husband I tagged a friend who really didn’t care. We had dinner, watched a movie, and made it home safe and sound.

Keep in mind that these are just tips and by no means the only things you should do or not do to have a successful online romance. Look at online dating as a means to an end and not the end. At the end of the day, you have to learn to love yourself first before anyone can and wants to love you.

Have you used an online dating service? How was your experience? Share your stories – I’d love to know.