Is strict parenting inadvisable?

Is it true that if parents are too strict, their children become cunning and hide things from their parents?

That scenario pretty much represents the history of parenting in terms of parent-child relationships.

The authoritarian parenting approach probably started in a cave in the days when we were hunters and gatherers. More commonly known these days as “strict” parenting, authoritarian parenting approaches are still prevalent in Western culture.

Although corporal punishment of children has decreased in the last 60 years (as a result of research that found it inadvisable), we can still see parents harassing their children on a daily basis with threats and promises of various forms of punishment.

The cultural value of punishment remains a hallmark of child rearing (as well as the concept of punishment on a societal level).

Strict parenting can do more than just make kids cunning. Not even turning children into liars and manipulators is the worst of the problem…with the problem centered on the child coming to fear the parent.

With the establishment of fear and intimidation, the quality of the parent-child relationship can be diminished, if not dysfunctional. An adversarial relationship is established between father and son and the bond of trust on the part of the father is lost…sometimes forever. Secrets are kept and honest and open communication is hindered.

We’re not yet talking about the worst possible aspects of strict parenting and I don’t even need to mention spanking as a punishment, although there is no greater act of rejection than deliberately subjecting another human being to violence…especially a young and vulnerable one.

The concept of punishment consists of an effort to degrade and diminish the offending party. The idea is to break the will and spirit of the offender so that he repeats the offending behavior in the future.

Well, along the way we have learned that punishment is ineffective in terms of behavior modification or as a teaching method. we don’t care As a society, just love our vengeful ‘pound of meat’ for revenge. We pay lip service to the rehabilitation of criminals, but we do so reluctantly.

For parents, punishment serves as a powerful means of obtaining a measure of retribution for having offended their sensibilities by the child. Withdrawing love with rejection from a loved parent in the form of punishment not only diminishes the child, it can be traumatizing. In other words, the pain caused in the child as a result of the punishment is the desired effect.

The biggest problem with punishment, especially under the yoke of strict/authoritarian parenting, is the fact that it acts as a countermeasure to children’s crucial emotional need to feel safe and secure in their parents’ love and acceptance.

The proper satisfaction of these needs is essential for children to live a healthy process of growth and emotional development. Unfulfilled emotional need in children serves as the basis for a number of emotional problems, including the development of chronic personality disorders.

These comments are not as radical as they once were due to the recent development of non-punitive parenting approaches that involve safer and more effective discipline methods. Information relating to approaches such as ‘positive parenting’, ‘positive discipline’ and ‘attachment parenting’ is now widely available.

On a personal level, I have demonstrated the superiority of ‘positive discipline’ over ‘punitive discipline’ as a result of raising two beautiful, selfless, loving children who were never punished. They were disciplined through the patience of my best teaching efforts.

It was perfect? Hell no… my loving wife made up for my imperfections. But I can say this with confidence: my children always wanted to please me as much as I wanted to please them.

I will end by saying that in the midst of mutual respect between parents and children, the notion of punishment is never necessary as a consideration.