The 26 year old male virgin

I am 26 years old and I am a virgin. However, I often wonder why everyone focuses so much on religious reasons or ‘sick reasons’ to serve as motivation to be a virgin. My reasons for being a virgin have changed and adapted as I have changed and grown. Around the age of 13, I decided to be a virgin because it was what the church told me to do. I was raised Roman Catholic and World Youth Day in Colorado (1993 – I was 13 years old) had a profound impact on my life in many areas, including my attitude towards sex. However, around the age of 16, I decided that I wanted to live my own life and make my own decisions. So I started to explore sexually and found that I really enjoyed being sexually involved. If I had put the “correct” at that point in my life, I probably would have had sex. But at that point in my life, I never reached that ‘right’ level with anyone and I’m glad for that. Around the age of 19, I realized that I didn’t want to have sex outside of marriage, for reasons I’ll explain in a moment. Although I am sexually active today, at 26, I am still a virgin.

The top reasons I’ve heard people say you should have sex are #1 because it feels great and #2 because it brings you closer to someone in a way nothing else can.

In response to #1, I often point out how many people talk about how sometimes sex isn’t so great. The reasons for this vary, but often it is because the man does not know enough about the female anatomy to be able to offer her physical pleasure during intercourse, or because the woman does not know her own body well enough to know it better. . or, much less often, the female does not know the male’s anatomy well enough to offer him physical pleasure. In any case, sexual intercourse is often not equally enjoyed by men and women.

In response to #2, I think it’s true that sexual intercourse creates a greater degree of intimacy and commitment. This “greater degree” is something I choose not to share with anyone other than the woman who will be my wife, which is why I will not have sexual relations with anyone before I am married.

The reason I’ve remained a virgin, however, is broader than that. My most fundamental values ​​are to be someone who respects and values ​​life, in all its forms, through my daily actions, and to always have faith that God has a plan for my life. (For the purposes of this, I use “a higher power” interchangeably with “God”.)

If I choose to abstain from all forms of sexual activity, I am suppressing my own desires, which are given to me from birth by a higher power. Without these basic physical desires, humans would have stopped procreating long ago. Because of my trust in a higher power, I realize that these desires must have been designed for the awesome purpose of creating life, so they are part of who I am. To deny my physical desires is to deny a part of myself, and the denial of the fact that I am human would ultimately lead to disease.

On the other hand, if I choose to have sex, I am choosing to create life. There is no 100% guarantee that I will not create life by having sex. If I decide to have sex outside of marriage, I can use a condom and she can use another method of birth control, and there’s a 99.999999% chance that she won’t carry another life inside of her afterwards. But to deny that 0.000001% possibility of the creation of life is still the denial of the most powerful act of a human being: procreation. To deny my procreation abilities would be disrespectful. And if I find that slim chance of creating a life acceptable, and use that as my motivation for agreeing to have sex (as many people do), then I’m saying I don’t care if I’m going to have sex. create a life But it is my responsibility to take care of that life. This is a contradiction. It is devaluing the gift that I have been given to be able to create life. You are also devaluing the new baby (the new life) that you could potentially create by choosing to have sex.

I guess some people will say that I’m not a virgin because I ‘wasting my time’. But for me, it’s not wasting time at all. It’s pretty serious and pretty funny! Being sexually exploratory has helped me not to be afraid of sex (as many people are after seeing those 8th grade STD slides) and to be willing to experience the beauty of what life has to offer; mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Not having sex, but being sexually open, has allowed me to explore, without compromising any of my core values: respecting all life (including my own) and having faith that I am guided by a higher power.

Obviously, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, researching, and making final decisions about sex. It seems to me that in a polite society, a husband should be someone who knows his own body well enough to help guide his wife in her exploration of her body, and a wife should know her own body well enough to help to guide your husband in his exploration of your body. On top of that, a wife must know enough about the male body to be able to surprise and arouse her husband with her ability to please him, and a husband must be able to amaze and arouse her wife with her ability. to please her. However, people are often unaware of the amazing abilities of the human body and how the body’s responses work, due to educational systems or parents treating sex as a taboo topic of both conversation and activity. It’s crazy to think that even in the 1970s, some doctors, DOCTORS, were telling people that it was impossible for women to have orgasms. It’s also sad that the popularity of sex in movies, TV, and music has led many people to think that sex is nothing special.

Sex is special, and sex doesn’t have to be a taboo subject! Sex can be amazing and beautiful, even when explored outside of marriage, and even when explored by a 26 year old virgin! It can be a healthy and respectful place where both men and women can explore and learn about themselves and each other! This exploration can occur without compromising that “higher degree” of commitment and intimacy that will ultimately be given to that worthy person in the marriage.