Why you should NOT visit southern Utah

If you’re not into world-class scenery, adventure, relaxation, entertainment, events, and attractions, then Southern Utah is definitely not for you.

St. George, Utah and the surrounding areas, located in the southwestern corner of Utah, is one of North America’s best-kept secrets and I intend to keep it that way; I just don’t like having to share it. So with that in mind, here are five reasons why you shouldn’t visit southern Utah.

Reason # 1: grotesque scenery

Featuring stunning red rock cliffs, fascinating sandstones intricately warped by wind and water, sculptural natural arches, kaleidoscopic and rapturous sunsets, breathtaking views of the desert peppered with brilliant colors of hundreds of varieties of wildflowers and complemented by majestic forested peaks, the Southern Utah is a mystical, twisted and wild planet reserved only for poets, dreamers, wanderers, adventurers, and lovers.

And you’re not one of those types, are you? I mean, if the Native Americans who left thousands of petroglyphs in southern Utah couldn’t last here, does it really sound like a place you want to visit?

Reason # 2: Too many national parks

With Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce Canyon, Arches, Canyonlands, and Capitol Reef National Parks all within a convenient driving distance of St. George, southern Utah is simply chock-full of national parks. And that’s not to mention Glen Canyon, Grand Staircase, Rainbow Bridge, Lake Powell, and Valley of Fire.

How do you hope to choose between all of them? Isn’t it asking too much of a traveler to make such a decision?

Do yourself a favor and pick something predictable for your next vacation. Wouldn’t you rather fight the traffic, crowds, and lines of Disneyland, rather than face the risk of becoming addicted and intoxicated by the peace, grandeur, and majesty of southern Utah?

Reason # 3: risky adventure

There is so much adventure available in southern Utah that it is scary. Camping, hiking, rock climbing, canyoning, mountain biking, skiing and snowboarding, fishing, kayaking, caving, boating, and hunting are just a few of the options available to visitors to St. George, Utah.

And since all of those are risky, the smart and confident traveler will avoid them like the plague.

Reason # 4: too many opportunities to relax

You have a very busy life. And it’s busy for a reason: you have so many important things to do. Do you really want to jeopardize your business and professional projects by relaxing in luxurious full-service spas, wasting time playing world-class golf courses, or enjoying beautiful bed and breakfasts?

Seriously, shouldn’t you work harder?

Reason # 5: Family conflict over events and attractions

Visiting southern Utah will only add unnecessary conflict to your family as you try to choose from the endless supply of events and attractions. Will you attend an exceptional musical theater show at the world-famous Tuacahn, or will you visit the impressive homes at the acclaimed Parade of Homes? Will it be the Shakespearean Festival or the Utah Summer Games? Will you run the famous St. George’s Marathon or participate in the outstanding Senior Games?

Add this to the fact that St. George is just an hour and a half north of Las Vegas, and you have a recipe for family disaster. Why go through the hassle? Make your bond at home by watching TV, and avoid the conflict of trying to choose between the world-class events and attractions found in southern Utah.

If these five reasons haven’t been enough to convince you not to visit St. George, Utah, probably nothing will. If you are considering a visit to southern Utah, trust me, a person who accidentally visited here and ended up staying forever. Keep going folks, there’s nothing to see here. Actually.