Breaking is hard to do on the web (2.0)

We’ve all been through a breakup and felt the inevitable pangs, waves of tears, and a very real period of grief after a relationship ends. In today’s world, where social networking and social media can be an important part of many of our lives, old-fashioned angst can be compounded by the “internet breakdown.”

Breaking up with someone with whom you shared your likes and dislikes, sent xoxo’s and matched compatibility test results on sites like Facebook, MySpace and of course the super popular Youtube along with many other social networks makes for a whole new experience. . problem set For example, how long do you wait to remove from your page the comments, photos, and “gifts” (sent while you’re in the often delusional cloud of love) that stare back at you and now haunt you? This person was your number 1 spot among your best friends, for crying out loud! What can one do?

Once they’re removed and the STATUS on the profile changes from any of the oh-so-lovely descriptions ranging from “it’s complicated” or “in a committed relationship” to “single”, what’s the proper etiquette for well-wishers and others who they will do it? he’ll invariably ask how you’re coping, what happened, and other questions that may be sincere but can streak across the screen like molten lava. What to do with the group of comments left to make sure you “keep your head up”, “they’re thinking of you” and any other hackneyed phrases that are delivered in gloss prowling cyberspace like floating bullets in a similar freeze frame to Matrix. They make you want to push straight into a huge void.

As in the traditional breakup there is always the “friends” division. The Internet makes that division a blatantly public and often childish process. Do they “take you away from your friends”? The “Unfriends” of them? Who does what and how long until someone takes action? There is always a first friend who is brave enough to make the friend change. This person simply enjoys the new friendship more than the original friendship, but inevitably places themselves at the center of what can become a battle of loyalties, criticism, and, of course, the unbearable insult of being eliminated (they also risk of negative posts and god knows what). of the despised part). These friends who once felt Linkdin can experience the pain of being blocked, ignored, or even…dare I say…spam.

So as you sit there and ponder the thought “oh my gosh” this could happen to me and your heart goes crazy wanting to drink a tumblr of whatever is available in the house I ask you what are the new rules governing this. Was it all from the internet? How should this happen, and how can you get away relatively unscathed from all the added remnants now piling up in the cloud? How do you go from being the Web 2.0 couple to… Web #0?”

I hereby offer some initial suggestions and I’m sure I’ll come up with many more, but I need to know what you, the techie, think. Perhaps together we can come up with a basic framework to keep our web presence intact as we navigate the treacherous online rift?

Separation Rules for Internet-Related Breakups

1. Don’t post a breakup blog explaining the gory details. Such things should be private, even in today’s voyeuristic world.

2. The removal of ex should be done gradually. that is, they did not disappear from the face of the earth, just perhaps from your life or more visibly, from your vlog. This must be adhered to to avoid the inevitable spate of inquiries about their separation. Do it for the other person, if not for yourself.

3. Don’t post new pics of yourself with an ex, new anything, or overtly obscene images in an attempt to inflict additional pain on your ex (no matter how much you think you hate them). It is not recommended to post selfish mood updates every hour that will not only indulge each other’s voyeurism but also cheapen the angst you both feel. Simply put, don’t tweet a twitter.

5. When sending angry emails/IMs after your breakup, don’t dig yourself a hole you can’t get out of. This means that the words on a screen are forever. Permanent. Nothing is actually deleted from the web. So choose your strikes wisely and don’t stumble on your own immature cruelty.

6. Don’t talk bad about your ex. He is below you.

7. Avoid “tracking” your ex’s web activity. This can only lead to obsession and, even worse, pathos.

8. Do not refer in any way to your suddenly, even noticeably, renewed sex drive, virility, or promiscuity. This is so far below you that it is somewhere deep in the Earth’s mantle.

9. Take a break from social media. We could all use one.

10. Eat, drink, have fun, and don’t let a bad experience get you down as to the viability of another Web-based relationship: We all benefit from social media, both platonic and socially, and if we’re careful and a little luckily, we may fall in love again with another technologist, with markedly better results.