Building trust is not easy, but there is hope
In theory, building trust shouldn’t be complicated. And, in theory, confidence coaching shouldn’t be necessary.
The keyword here, of course, is theoretically.
Because in practice, things act differently. – As they usually do.
Building trust should be easy. Because the principles are not very difficult to understand.
Most of us even know most of them. In fact, here are a bunch of great principles for trust, straight from the top of my head:
- Have a goal in life that you continually work towards
- Evaluate yourself continuously
- Practice active appreciation for life and your resources.
- Learn something new every day
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Do something that you are passionate about
- See the possibilities, not the limitations
- Get out of your comfort zone and do things that make you uneasy
- Practice physical exercise for 20 to 30 minutes a day.
- Meditate for 10-20 minutes a day.
- Eat plenty of vegetables, legumes, whole grains, fiber, and protein.
- Do not eat processed foods, junk food, starchy carbohydrates, saturated fat, sweets, cakes, etc.
- Don’t smoke or use excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol.
- Get 7-8 hours of sleep every night
- Surround yourself with supportive and affirming people
- Avoid people who bring you down and hold you back
- Stand up for yourself, talk when you want, fear nothing, never give up, accept what you cannot change, etc.
I could go on, but I hope you get the point.
… Which is, like I said, most normal people already know most of these things. I mean, most of these points are common sense and knowledge.
So why is it so difficult for some people to develop confidence?
Because there is a difference between “easy” and “simple”.
Casually outlining the formula for a great life is, in fact, almost insultingly easy. However, putting it into practice is the difficult part. And, for many people, it is absolutely impossible without help.
The good news, then, is that it is simple.
In fact, building confidence is like building muscle. It is difficult and requires effort, but it gets easier over time and if done consistently.
Also, what I discovered is that the same principle applies to the vast majority of people: it doesn’t matter so much what you do specifically with your life as it does that you do it while maintaining self-confidence.
In fact, if you continually build trust, it won’t matter much what you do, because you can do just about anything. And you’ll be confident enough to take it easy on the things you can’t do, for now, anyway.
It’s like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, or even owning a car – if you want it to keep running, you have to keep it.
Yes it’s hard. Yes, it will take time and effort. But that’s no reason not to do it anyway. Because there is no such reason. There are only the excuses that we give ourselves for fear.
This week, get out of your comfort zone. Do only ONE thing that really scares you, but that you really want to do. It could be talking to someone about a problem; or how you feel about them. It could be walking towards a complete stranger asking for directions. As long as it’s something that Really it makes you uneasy.
Why would we do something like this? Because, when practiced regularly, getting out of our comfort zone makes us grow. It strengthens us and gives us more confidence. So, for the love of God: do it and keep it up.