Find out how to relieve stress and get back to ‘normal’

One thing common to all people, ‘normal’ people and those we think of as having ‘problems’, is our ability to deal with stress and the emotions that come with it. I want you to think of your stress and emotions as if you were in a glass. As you visualize your glass and it is ‘normal’ (Of course it is!), the glass will appear to be about 60% full. On any day you find yourself stressed, this glass can be filled to 80%, 90%, even 99% with stress and emotions. Think about what happens when you get even more stressed? Just like that last drop of liquid that makes the glass overflow, your emotions are now overflowing! Now consider a person who has ‘problems’ and what their glass looks like. Your jar may be constantly running at 80%, 90%, or 95% capacity. What does that mean? It means that very little is needed to tip the glass and make a ‘troubled’ person react to stressful situations. And, the reason they seem to have a ‘problem’ in the first place is that they tend to react much faster than you or me.

I’d like to share research with you that validates this. The CIA and intelligence gathering agencies in many other countries rely on people’s emotions to reveal them when they are interrogated. For example, when a person is questioned, what environment do they usually think they are in? Usually alone with people who look threatening and intimidating, they have a stern look on their face and a threatening tone in their voice. There may be weapons and torture devices on display. The person questioned may have been deprived of food, water and sleep. Loud heavy metal music may have been playing for several days. If you were to look at this person’s glass, at what level do you think her emotions would be? Right at the top! If one more drop of emotions is added to him, he will overflow. So the questioners know that when they ask questions, this person will reveal answers through bodily communication that they now cannot hide. Why? Because the mind can not contain more emotion and the body should relieve mental stress through physical actions. It could be an eye twitch, an arm jerk, or a sudden movement at just the right moment. Once interrogators receive an initial signal that they are close to obtaining the information they want, they pursue that path vigorously until they get it. The person only returns to function normally on an emotional level when the stress is removed.

How does this translate into everyday life for you and me? First, I want to share with you that I believe that people are naturally good. They may have bad behaviors, but there is a good intention behind the bad behaviors. What does that mean? It means that I think people engage in ‘bad’ behavior because their ‘glass’ is continually at the tipping point and therefore it takes very little for their emotions to take over and create behaviors that seem out of place, inappropriate. , or just ‘bad’.

So let’s put this in the context of work. Let’s say you have an employee who is underperforming and you haven’t been able to find a solution. You’ve spent money on training, you’ve coached them and given them incentives, but nothing works. What you notice is that every time this person goes to do work that is critical to their job, they start doing heavy lifting, make up an excuse to leave, and blame other people for why they can’t do it, or a variety of other things. other acts to divert their attention from what is the real reason they are not working well. These actions are no different than a person being questioned being unable to stop that eye twitch or other physical movements to relieve stress. They are showing external signs of internal emotions being processed. It can be for a variety of reasons that they feel stressed at work, but it is evidence that their glass is getting 90% or more full and they have a need to release their emotions. Stressors must be removed so that they can return to normal.

How about at home? When a person who has people he loves, studies have shown that he will face death and survive for others when he would have given up if the situation involved them. However, why do people who return home to their loved ones after a long day at work and start yelling at them for what may be something unimportant? Why would they verbally, mentally and even physically abuse those they claim to love? In reality, they are not acting against the people they love; they are representing all the other stress that they have allowed to build up in them. Once again, these people are operating at between 90% and 99.9% of their emotional capacity. They feel as if they are alone, a hot bright light is shown directly above them, they feel threatened and the ‘music’ in their head plays loud, loud and constantly over and over again. The boy who got a bad grade, the one who broke a lamp, the wife who damaged the car; and the husband who lost his job are just the drop of water that makes the glass overflow. They are not bad people. You just have to remove the stressors so they can let their guard down and get back to normal.

How can stress be removed so that people can return to “normal”? That’s a great question! Have hope! People are finding a unique way every day!