Medieval occupations

You’ve probably had a few rotten jobs in the past, but I bet none of them were as bad as medieval-era jobs.

Ratcatcher

Not exactly the flashy type of name to attract new hires in search ads. However, the rat catchers were actually highly regarded by the townspeople. Rats, mice, and other vermin were often carriers of many diseases and ailments. A rat catcher who could rid a city of these creatures could be rewarded very well. However, putting himself in unpleasant places and risking his own health was, as they say, with the territory, since he frequently came in contact with sick or rabid animals.

Gravedigger

This field was a growing industry during the Middle Ages, as war, famine, and disease provided a great deal of “raw material” for the gravedigger. Like the rat catcher, a busy digger could make a pretty good income.

Delivery courier

Hmmm, this doesn’t sound like a bad job. After all, how difficult can it be to deliver messages? You’ve no doubt heard the term “don’t kill the messenger.” This kind of gives you a clue on the main problem with being a courier. Often times, the message delivered was not well received. The messenger was the lucky victim of this anger that frequently led to the death or imprisonment of the unfortunate messenger.

Undermine

The need for gold or silver was very important to most kingdoms as a way to deploy their armies and expand their territories. Although the miners’ wages were above average, they had to work in very dangerous conditions. If cave-ins, lethal gases, and landslides weren’t severe enough, a miner wouldn’t see daylight for two or three days straight. They weren’t particularly skilled, but the job required a certain brute determination to overcome the constant obstacles.

Leech Collector

Leeches have been widely used for centuries as a medical aid. The thought was that leeches would suck the bad blood from a sick person, leaving only the good blood behind. Obviously leeches had to be found. Enter the Leech Collector. Easy enough job – just wade through the muddy swamp water and let the leeches cling to your legs. When you have “collected” a sufficient quantity, return to dry land and remove them. Ah, therein lies the problem, as Shakespeare once said. Not only did the leeches constantly suck blood while attached, but if not pulled out properly, their teeth would be left behind, still embedded in the flesh. This condition often leads to suppuration, infection, and often death. Even if the extraction is done correctly, the sores that remain could easily become infected. I can see the ad for this job “Working outdoors in the open air, leisurely strolling through natural water, collecting valuable animals that are used in medical treatment. You will train, no experience is needed.”

Fuller

Even given the jobs described above, this may be the worst job of medieval times. To remove grease and other impurities from the freshly woven woolen fabric, it had to be placed in a tub of stale urine and then trampled for hours (kind of like mashing grapes but not quite as pleasant). In addition to the obvious stench, the petanus had to be constantly on the alert to ensure that the entire batch of wool was treated evenly; otherwise the whole batch was ruined and the process would have to start over. That would really make me PO’d if that happened!

Engineer Petard

This job sounds great; after all, an engineer is quite a prestigious profession. However, being a firecracker engineer was not that glamorous during medieval times. A firecracker was a small bomb that was used to blow up enemy fortifications, such as the walls or the gates of a castle. The engineer’s job was to run as fast as possible avoiding enemy arrows, while charging the lit firecracker that he would eventually place next to the fortification (assuming it got that far). If the fuse was a bit “short” or faulty, then the firecracker would detonate before being set in place, gently lifting the unfortunate engineer into the air to get a better view of his surroundings. Therefore, the term “Hoisted with his own firecracker” is used to describe a situation in which a person is harmed by his own actions.

Treadmill operator

No, there were no sports or health clubs in the medieval world. Instead, think of a giant hamster wheel placed about thirty meters high in an unfinished cathedral. The operator trudged for hours, turning the large wheel that moved a winch connected to a crane that then hoisted the construction material. In addition to the mundane nature of the work, it was also dangerous, as if the entire assembly had been poorly constructed or if bad weather suddenly struck, the entire device could collapse. Blind people often did this work, as they didn’t really need to see where they were walking.

Spank, boy

Yes, there really was a job called spanking boy. When the prince misbehaved or fell behind in his studies, only the king had the divine right to administer the punishment. But alas, the king was often away, doing what kings do when they are not in their castles. So, no king, no punishment for the prince. But someone had to pay. The spanking boy enters. Normally, he had been raised and educated with the prince since he was born. Often times, a bond of friendship developed between the two. The idea was that since they were such good friends, when the spanking boy was punished, the prince felt at least emotional pain for his friend.

This job looks similar to that of a firefighter. Long time sitting, waiting, and they – bam! – are you at work. It is unknown what happened to the spanking boy once the prince became king. Maybe he became the spanking man, although that title is not really good.