second hand emotion

He leaves a snort, a look, and a line or two of conversation as he walks by, and you begin to think of him with increasing fascination.

He can be anyone. A colleague, boss, co-worker, family friend, or neighbor. He can also be the husband of your best friend! Yeah… It happens all the time, so let’s skip the unnecessary ethics and morality stories, and get to the point that we’re talking about a ‘married lover’ here.

He is a very married man who has suddenly shaken your emotions despite your skepticism. You may have endlessly debated with your friends in the past about the immorality of such relationships, hurling careless judgments at ‘women so foolish’ that they fall in love with a married man. But the fact is, the world is full of ordinary mortals like you and me, who are fully capable of making foolish mistakes in a hurry and regretting it at our leisure.

What happens when he is another woman’s man?

He seems more attractive, since he has a woman who has some control over him and gives you a certain rush that he is “falling in love with you…”

He is attentive, flirtatious, and very flattering to your sense of being a desirable woman, giving you subtle cues. You gravitate towards him in spite of yourself. The inevitable happens, and you start exchanging those meaningful glances.

One fine day you meet, and he may tell you stories of his unhappy married life… or he may choose to tell you that he is very happy with his marriage, that he loves his wife very much, and that he really cannot analyze why he feels this ‘something’ for you.

You secretly reveal your ‘mysterious charms’ and ‘irresistible qualities’ that have led a husband so ‘faithful, loyal and so in love with his wife’ to feel that ‘something’ for you.

The indefinable X-tra

It is possible that you are feeding your loneliness with the warm sensation of having a man fascinated with you, and you could be imagining unconditional love in the days to come; but for him you are that X factor in his life, and in most cases he is fully aware of what he wants, how much he wants and how far he will go with you. The ‘unavailable man’ is available to you, but on his terms, at his pace, and at his own convenience. He may say ‘I love you’ during one of his moments, but what’s next? How far is he willing to take this love with you? Will he go beyond the silent walls of that remote hotel, condo or love nest?

When he says he loves you

The point is, you just found a man who is ready to sleep with you at any moment, but he may not be ready to wake up with you! However, you are beyond worry as your heart is filled with unbridled love for him, and your desire to give and receive attention is leading you to a state where reality and fantasy are indistinguishable.

You do not pay attention to the warnings of friends and well-wishers. They seem prejudiced or jealous to you. You send him passionate text messages while he is at work.

He reads them, enjoys them, and never answers them. He plays it safe.

What it means to him… and to you

This relationship is a graceful escape that feeds his already swollen ego. He tells you how he feels stifled and unhappy with his wife, but the fact is that at the end of the day, he might be pretty cool with the idea of ​​having the woman back home as his wife, and he really wouldn’t want to replace her! But while he has family vacations, social gatherings, and overnights with his wife, you just stare at your phone in silence.

He loves you… but he doesn’t want to

Most of the time, the man is lying! She may never get to know that he lets her take the reins, the control buttons, and the responsibility of the relationship, and she sits back and enjoys the ride, or in other words, he cheats on her behind her back. If he didn’t love her, he would have left her a long time ago! He’ll talk about making ‘compromises’, but he’s just a smart guy who has the best of both worlds.

His safe sanctuary… and your trap

At home, he has a wife. Outside the home, she has free sex at her disposal according to her wishes and commands. She has in you a passionate lover and sweet romance to color her tame monotonous life, with no demands for commitment. In your overriding desire to be the best in her eyes, you become even more ‘undemanding, nice, sweet and a perfect lover’ in your haste to add something special to the ‘unfortunate life’ of a man ‘suffering’ with a ‘tyrannical woman’.

Dancing in the Dark

In most cases, it is true that he will never leave his wife. And if there are children, then he is in the safest position of not having to leave her.

In such a relationship, their dynamics are in stark contrast to one another.

They are dance partners, but are not in tune with each other’s rhythm and steps.

It’s a definitive ‘cha-cha-cha’ in which each person moves back and forth without actually meeting the other, leaving much unhappiness, pain, disappointment and loneliness in between.

no future calls

You had created a secret world and revealed it in the secrecy and details of this matter, but as time goes by, you want security and a sense of belonging. You have opened your feelings and your body to a man, and you long for an emotional environment and security about the continued possibility of this relationship. You feel emptiness, the non-existent future, and a feeling of boredom begins to build up.

the dead end

In this ‘love book’ the chapters are unscripted and as a fiction writer you have to decide the theme, background, characters and ending you want for this love story. It’s not easy, but it’s not as hard as it seems either. It just requires that you choose better standards for yourself and develop a great deal of self-love. Only self-respect and a refusal to settle for anything less would save him from such an impasse.