The comic tragedy of job interviews

With the ever-changing economy, many of us have been changing jobs and careers at a breakneck pace. Along with plenty of new rules of engagement, there are plenty of do’s and don’ts about how to dress, proper posture, and most importantly, how to answer critical questions. Doing all of the above correctly can lead to great success in the interview game. Missing some of these areas can set you up for failure. Sometimes along the way, we can miss something so much that it’s really funny and tragic at the same time.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Therefore, your appearance, clothing, and grooming should be number 1 on your list. Since most buildings are smoke-free environments, don’t automatically light a cigarette during the interview. According to an Internet resource, a job candidate lit his cigarette at the wrong end! Also, when completing the application, be sure to sit in a chair and complete it. An applicant literally lying on the ground.

Unless you’re applying for a job at a construction site or as a roadie for a gang, make sure you’ve had a recent haircut and that your beard and mustache are neatly trimmed. Especially in corporate America, an interviewer doesn’t want to see someone with hair below the knees. They will think you are a prankster and you will do as you please. Also make sure your nose hair is trimmed. You don’t want to give the interviewer the impression that you have Sterling Forrest growing inside your nasal cavity. In most cases, you should dress on the conservative side. Men must wear a suit and tie or jacket and pants. If you know an environment is a bit more casual, you may be able to lose your tie and possibly your jacket. However, don’t go level as one interviewer did by wearing a tracksuit to interview for the VP position. The ladies wear an appropriate outfit. And ladies, if you’re going for an interview with a clothing organization, you might want to wear the brand name of the company you want to work for. I recently noticed on the internet that a prospective employee was swearing up and down that she loves her brand and only buys her product. I go down and lo and behold, a few minutes later the interviewer pointed to a competitor’s logo on the interviewer’s blouse.

When you approach the person interviewing you, watch your posture and body language. Never sit with your arms crossed, as that gives the impression that you are upset about being there. Sit up straight and lean forward. Focus on your interviewer, but don’t stare at them like you’re trying out for a role in the Hitchcock thriller Psycho. You don’t want security involved. Look your interviewer in the eye with an easy look and then gradually shift your focus away from him. Just like in Toastmasters, hand and face gestures are important, but nothing sudden in general, as again the idea is not to intimidate your interviewer.

The third part of the interview is the verbal communication part which is actually divided into two sections. The first is to answer the interviewer’s questions. When someone asks Tell me about yourself, your response should be 15 to 45 seconds that will engage the interviewer and relate to the job offer. Be original and sincere in your delivery. Anything longer than 45 seconds will probably bore your interviewer. Remember this is not a five minute speech or lecture. If it goes on and on, you might hear a bit of a buzz…your interviewer will be snoring. Today, in this ever-challenging job market, you will be asked what your strengths and weaknesses are. When answering strengths, give an example of how your strength made a difference in the life of a previous employer. Simply stating that you have 5 years of sales experience or are familiar with Excel will make your interviewer think “BORING”. Don’t give stupid answers either. Believe it or not, one interviewee responded to the question about strength by stating Ask my husband! Presentation is important and if you come across as boring and ordinary, you won’t fit into too many corporate cultures. When answering the weakness question, the best way is to find an area where you have improved and give an example rather than pick a true weakness. Be careful how you word your answer because you don’t want to give the impression that weaknesses are unmanageable. Claiming that you’re a bit secretive and used emcees to help you hatch is fine. However, claiming that he avoids speaking to someone only when necessary and the emcees helped him achieve greater comfort can come off as more than a little crazy, even for the Dr. Demento show. Goals can be ambitious, but don’t bully an interviewer into thinking you’re taking their job.

The second part is to ask appropriate questions of the interviewer. You want everything to be about them and not so much about you. Do not offer information about wages and benefits. Frame your questions around the corporate culture, the business systems used, and opportunities to help out on special projects and how you want to be a great part of the team. Show enthusiasm without bringing your pom poms and yelling give me one for PepsiCo. Asking what is the biggest challenge is an excellent question. It’s simple and to the point, breaking up the interview with an inordinate amount of annoying detail that sends them both running for Tylenol.

It’s a tough job today in the year 2010. You have to think one step ahead of the next person to join a quality employer. By observing your dress code and grooming, being aware of nonverbal cues, and communicating appropriately verbally, you’ll be playing the work game, which is an important part of the game of life. Lose the job game and you might as well learn the trade of playing shell game or Three Card Monty on the shady side of Fordham Road.