Toolkit to keep your spirits high

As humans, uncertainty is something we really don’t like. And we are all experiencing the greatest period of uncertainty in our history.

Uncertainty is contagious and fuels anxiety in many of us. We try to pay attention to every opinion or scenario, and end up feeling overwhelmed. And that’s because uncertainty activates the fear part of our brain.

Fear is a normal human emotion. Our brain has developed considerably over millions of years. The anterior part allowed us to feel the threat of tigers and mammoths, so that we could protect ourselves and survive. Look for any threat so we can fight, flee or freeze. As we progressed, our brains developed the ability to plan, to become self-aware, to be creative. The problem was that it also gave us the ability to worry, to think negatively (about life and about ourselves) and feel anxious about the future.

But there is also something positive, in the sense that we can learn to regain control, once we become aware of the emotions we are experiencing. We are responsible for our own thinking and behavior, no matter how hard we try to blame others or the situations we find ourselves in. The situation may be out of our control, but how we react is within our control.

Our emotions are great signals for us to become aware and curious. They contain useful messages. We don’t “have to” be positive all the time, or beat ourselves up if we feel negative from time to time. Give yourself a break, as it’s okay to not be okay for a while.

However, staying in a negative state can negatively affect your long-term mental and physical health. While fear helps us survive, when mixed with emotions around uncertainty, it can lead to something bad for our health: anxiety.

When we are in a negative emotional state like anxiety, we go into Fight, Flight or Freeze. When we are in this mode, we also tend to see more negative aspects and this ends up getting out of control. (This is bad…and this happened…and then this…and then this, etc.).

And when we worry, our worries can seem huge. We believe that if we care about something, we are more prepared. But actually the opposite is true. If we stay in this “survival” mode for too long, it can increase feelings of irritability and low mood, affecting our focus, clarity, and logical thinking. Who wants to live like this for a long time?

But we can, and do, break out of this spiral of negativity. We can begin to use another part of our brain that gets excited by seeing positive things, can make connections, can be creative, and can find flexible solutions to our current situations. This is not only better for your mental health, but also has a better and significant impact on the health of your body.

So how do we reduce negativity and increase positivity?

Below are some suggestions for you to try. You can find one that you find easier to make every day, or make a different one every day, or mix and match as you like.

STAY IN THE MOMENT

When we have negative emotions (such as anger, sadness, guilt, fear, pain), we are thinking about our past. When we are anxious or worried, we are thinking about our future. Staying in the moment (in the NOW) helps alleviate these emotions, reducing their power. Stay in the here and now, not too many steps or days ahead. If you start to drift too far, bring your thinking back to what’s right in front of you at the moment and focus on it for a few minutes.

MEDITATION

Meditation is about engaging in a thought process that allows thoughts to simply come and go. This is a powerful way to get to the NOW. There are apps and videos online that you can use.

BREATHE

When you feel anxious, breathe and allow yourself a few seconds of calm.

• Inhale through your nose while counting to five

• Hold your breath for a count of two to four

• Breathe out slowly through your mouth while counting to seven.

• Allow your rib cage to rise and fall without forcing it.

SIX POSITIVE

When you start to recognize the positives, this tells your brain to find even more of them! They become easier to find. Just as you train the muscles of your body by regularly practicing a technique, you can do the same with your brain. So every day write 6 positive affirmations about that day. They can be about anything, big or small, but they must be positive. For example, a bird singing, a chat with a friend, achieving a new exercise, a delicious cup of coffee, the moon shining brightly, the radio playing your favorite song, the perfect place to park: the little things that make the life be pleasant. Writing them down also gives you something good to look back on and remember too.

DAILY

If you start to feel overwhelmed, write down your concerns, thoughts, and beliefs in a journal. Getting them out of your head and onto paper keeps them from going round and round in your mind. Then look at what you have written and question whether they are real or something you think “could” happen. If they are real, can you do something about them or is it out of your control? If it’s under your control, what’s the next small step you can do to help resolve it? Just one step at a time.

ACCESS

Connection is one of our greatest human needs, and the current situation is holding back our normal ways of feeling connected to others. Use the various facilities online and on your phone to talk with friends and family. It’s okay to ask for help and ask for a chat.

Making more time for phone calls with your friends and family is great, but that leaves a lot of free time on both sides of those calls. Connection is often simply being with someone, without having to say anything. This is a challenge with social distancing and isolation. So if you’re lonely, you could set up some time with a loved one, where you sit and watch a movie, work together, read together, etc. (but in a different way than normal). You each set up your phone, tablet, or laptop, Facetime, or one of the video conferencing sites, where you can see the other person. And they can sit together quietly, without having to say anything at all.

Helping others is another form of connection (be it a small gesture, a phone call, giving help): you help the other person, but you get dopamine and you feel good.

EXERCISE

Instead of indulging in that candy bar, comfort food, or glass of wine for a quick “feel good” boost, use exercise to reduce anxiety and stress. Exercise helps release endorphins that give you a natural high. This helps relieve the stress you’re feeling, allowing your body to relax and break the “fight or flight” cycle it’s stuck in. Find fun ways to exercise indoors, take walks in the garden (or other outdoor places, where you can).

LAUGHTER

It’s perfectly fine to laugh; in fact, we humans are very good at finding the fun side of life to help us get through the toughest of times. You will be able to cope better and see worries as less important if you can begin to see the humor around them. Find a funny movie or TV show, call your friends to share funny stories, play games with the kids, etc. Just think, 2020 will also be known for its interesting hairstyles!

Use Moodshifters, which help you change your mood from negative to positive in an instant. Think of two or three different events in your life that have really made you laugh, giggle, feel extremely happy. Clearly visualize and recall what you saw, heard, and emotionally felt. When you need a mood boost, think of those moments and live in the good feelings. It really works, as the same “feel good” hormones are flowing throughout the body, just like when it originally happened.

Smile – Oddly enough, forcing a smile onto your face can often make you feel happy. This is one of the strange ways that we humans are connected. Try it, you might be surprised!

LISTEN TO MUSIC

Listening to music lifts our spirits. We play our favorite song and a smile spreads across our faces. Find the music that works for you: you can dance around the room to the upbeat ones or relax to the calming ones. You can always take a picture of yourself dancing and send it to friends and family, which creates connection and laughter too!

COOL DOWN TIME

Take time every day to do what makes you feel good. It can be a warm bath, a massage, a walk in the countryside or reading a book in the sun, for example.

MAKE YOUR OWN PLANS

Set some actions or goals for your day or week, write a planner of things you want to accomplish, make a list of tasks you want to accomplish that you haven’t had time to do before. Only small actions are required, and they will give you a little certainty in your life! Remember that they are there to guide you and not to punish you.

Maintain a sense of normality whenever you can, such as getting up at the same time you usually do, eating at the usual time, etc.

BE CREATIVE

Solitude allows creative thoughts to flourish. Research suggests that people are better able to come up with their best ideas on their own. How can you use your creativity for your future? You may come up with wonderful new ideas to make others laugh, find new ways to help others, etc. Are there new hobbies you’d like to try, courses you’ve always wanted to take, a book to write, or an artist within you waiting to be released into the world?

Your day is yours to make the most of.

PROTECT YOUR OWN ENERGY

Other people may drag you into their dramas or leave you feeling exhausted after talking to them. They will want you to agree with their point of view about how bad things are. But this will not make you feel better. Protect your energy levels. They are responsible for their minds, you are responsible for yours. So you can try one of the tools here to bring it back to its own positive state. And if you feel good, you certainly don’t need to feel guilty about it.

YOU KNOW THIS TIME WILL PASS

Nothing stays the same for long. There will come a time when this will be in the past, even if it has made history! You can still think about plans and dreams for the future.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

We are amazing and resilient, adaptable, smart, and capable of change for the better. We are unique from other species in that we have the ability to control our behavior, train ourselves to be emotionally fit, and create inner strength. Our lives are shaped by the difficult times we have been through and what we have learned from. We are strong and we will find a way to overcome our challenges; We always have and always will. You’ve done it before, you can do it now.

Stay safe, stay inside. When we work together, we all win.