We must transcend the things that hold us back

These words from Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, in the true story movie, “The Hurricane” (1999) are etched in a golden truth for anyone who has ever had a battle of the titans in real life and won. It’s like the summary of the movie in a short statement; how a fighter who had dealt with massive injustice all his life had to deal with it in a big way, to break a torturous 20-year imprisonment – fighting for his freedom against an inherent and rampant system of corruption.

The part of “The Hurricane” when Carter (played brilliantly by Denzel Washington) says “We must transcend the things that hold us back,” is particularly poignant. Carter faced incredible odds of fighting the system while maintaining his sanity, faced with making a decision that was crucial to his survival. It required a commitment to the same; a commitment to turn your world upside down to stay in the game. He started working and studying at night, and sleeping during the day, anything really, to keep himself sane and strong. Here is a key lesson. Is one of protection. It is about protecting the relatively clean spirit that exists within each of us, protecting it from corruption. Carter identified him. He identified it and then put a plan in place and executed it. That takes courage and discipline, or together, faith and diligence.

So what holds people back? And how do people transcend these things? The key learning and inspiration here is this: There are many things, people and situations (things + people) that will do his most ardent attempt to ‘hold’ us in this life. It is a difficult fact of life. This is because many people and things want control over us. This is not based on love.

To make this clear, a “subjection” is anything or any relationship that does not resist or cannot cope with the truth; and anything that corrupts or potentially corrupts. This includes anything downright sinful, relationships that will never be a blessing, or anything that has a negative influence and doesn’t have a good reason for a person to continue to consider the many things that could. Appear to ‘hug’ us, but in fact they are good for us; these are not subject to this discussion. For example, the job we must have or the critical mentoring relationship that is “difficult” but beneficial. We must deal with these things and endure them, until it is the correct time go away and “move on”.

Anything that you implicitly know to be true will not seek to hold you back. Eugene Peterson wrote about 1 Corinthians 13 in The message paraphrase, Love does not want what it does not have. The only exception to this is when ‘the grab’ in your life, for example when someone is trying to escape a hold, perhaps an addiction. Right now, in these situations, sticking to it is critical because retention is actually because of love; often known as “tough love”. It is in these moments and places in life that people need to be humble and accept what is good for them and for their future. Therefore, this wisdom is not about “healthy grips”, which might be called “bonding.”

This wisdom is a call to address co-dependent style relationships[1] whether personal (in the form of habits, addictions, etc.), with another person (classic codependency) or organizational (for example, within a workplace, club or religious setting, including sects, church fellowship, mosque, etc.).

A fastener is like a sheet metal finish. One of our challenges is not only to see through the winery, but also to be able to break this facade, because the wineries are really just that, the appearance. The truth remains, but the falsehood crumbles once the veneer is broken. One of the most important roles in life is being able to recognize falsehood and deal with it bravely by breaking its veneer. The sheet is facade, appearance, only the surface of the matter. The truth is a contrast to all kinds of lies in life; we must see through and beyond the veneer, to gain “life”. It is about learning to delve into this topic to reveal the truth. The truth endures challenges and tests.

Again, these matters (the things that hold us back) are about things or people or situations (things + people). Once the thing / people / situation has been recognized as having negative control over us, there has to be a plan to free us. To do this properly, the guidance of those who truly love us and whom we can truly trust is sometimes required.

We must break the cycle of dependency and this can be compared to an insect breaking the surface tension of the water; a mosquito lands on him; It does not have the weight or the ability to cross the surface of the water; weight it is necessary to overcome it. To break the veneer of a codependent relationship requires strength and power; not physical strength and power, but mental, emotional, and spiritual strength and power. There must be a persistence to break the grip of unhealthy relationships.

This can take months, and in some cases years, and requires eternal vigilance.

© Steve J. Wickham, 2008. All rights reserved worldwide.

[1] A “co-dependent” can be loosely defined as someone who shows too much, and often inappropriately, caring for the people who depend on him or her. A “co-dependent” is one side of a relationship between mutually needy people. Dependent or clearly needy parties may have emotional, physical, financial difficulties, or addictions that they apparently cannot overcome. The “codependent” party exhibits controlling behavior, makes excuses, sympathizes, and takes other actions to perpetuate the obviously needy party’s condition, due to their desire to be needy and fear of doing anything to change the relationship. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependence