Who’s cooking tonight?

My husband (Barry) now cooks dinner most of the time. When someone asks me about my cooking, he always tells them that I am exhausted from cooking. He explains that I provided dinner for most of the years our children were growing up when he worked long hours and now it’s his turn. Barry also adds that he likes to eat and cooking allows him to make the dishes he loves.

He has all the reason! If he was providing dinner parties, he would most likely make the same dishes I’ve been making for years. I wouldn’t be clipping recipes from newspapers and magazines like him; my dinners would follow the same pattern: easy, quick, and prepared with a minimum of mess.

Out of necessity, I started cooking when I was around twelve years old. Both parents worked in the family supermarket and sometimes my mother came home late. Usually, she would have dinner planned out and something in the fridge ready to put on the stove or in the oven for her to call me and give me step-by-step instructions on what to do next. When we moved upstairs from the store, it was easier for her to run upstairs and make dinner, but she still left me some of the cooking.

Still, he had a lot to learn. One year, on my mother’s birthday, I decided to make her cake myself. I started very early, while my parents were still asleep, and soon I was in trouble. I had all the ingredients in the mixing bowl, but I didn’t know how to put the beaters in the mixer. I know that I know. This should have been easy to understand, but it was my first time using the machine. So I woke up my mom hoping she could give me a simple answer and go back to sleep. Of course, she got up and went to the kitchen, gasping audibly as she saw the mess she’d made.

Years later, when I was in my late teens, my parents went on a trip, leaving me in charge of preparing dinners for Sukie, the general manager and butcher who was looking after the store in their absence. I really wanted to impress Sukie, who was in his twenties and very handsome, so I decided to roast a chicken. I worked hard on that meal and when he came upstairs for dinner, I proudly placed the whole chicken on a plate in front of him. He picked up his knife and fork and had just cut the chicken in half when he laughed. When I went over to see what was so funny, he reached into the chicken and pulled out the bag of giblets. I had no idea they were there. In fact, at the time I had no idea what they were.

I’m actually quite a good cook (or at least I’ve been told). My specialties are usually Christmas dishes; Potato noodle kugel, chicken soup, brisket, honey cake, sweet potatoes with melted marshmallows on top, stuffing, carrot tsimmes. I love making one-dish meals that go all in the same pot and have minimal cleanup (soups, stews, roasts). I’ve perfected “really easy” food; roast beef, microwave vegetables, baked potatoes. I love to eat and appreciate good food, but after years of providing food for my family, I have no problem throwing in the towel, literally!

Barry has been interested in cooking for many years. His medical school roommate was from Texas and taught Barry how to make Mexican dishes. His roommate also taught Barry how to make margaritas, and sometimes the two friends never made it to the main course. Barry made me enchiladas on one of our first dates, and looking back, I think I must have recognized future possibilities even then.

While he was still in private practice, I prepared him for the future by giving him cooking lessons that he loved. A few years later, we traveled to Albuquerque, New Mexico, so she could attend a Southwestern cooking class. When we arrived, we were told there were only three people in the class, so you could attend at a reduced rate as well. I politely declined and spent most of the day sightseeing, always taking care to get to the cooking class in time to eat the student meals.

In the years since he retired, Barry has branched out into his culinary adventures. He has amassed a large collection of cookbooks that he reads for fun. He specializes in ethnic and international foods like Indian curries, Thai spices, Spanish dishes like paella, and of course, Mexican food. He loves hot and spicy dishes and sometimes the heat is too much for me. And occasionally, the newest dish fails the taste test. But more often than not, our dinner parties rival the food that is put on the table in the best restaurants. In fact, his dinners have made it more difficult to find good restaurants when we go out to eat.

The biggest problem with Barry’s cooking is that he always enjoys trying something new. This means that the Sauteed Eggplant in Garlic Sauce that we ate last night and loved down to the last bit of eggplant won’t be back for years. The good news is that I can try something different almost every night.

So every once in a while, when he needs a well-deserved night off, I take my turn in the kitchen and churn out the usual from my cooking repertoire: meatloaf, spaghetti, stew, or roast chicken. We enjoy them because we haven’t had them for dinner in a long time. And this is exactly how I intend to keep it!

PS Thank you Barry for all the wonderful meals.