When Steel Meets Cheese – Pittsburgh vs Green Bay

American football at its finest is a cathartic emotional experience for those lucky enough to see it in person and no one is as lucky as my wife and I, who own the two best seats to watch the best sports team in the world, the Pittsburgh Steelers. It was a pretty rude slap in the face last week to walk up to my prized seats at Heinz Field and see, sitting directly behind me, three fully functional Packer Backers. They were gifted, head to toe, in green and gold, complete with a head of rigueuer foam cheese. As the game progressed, it became clear that the cheesehead was worn like a crown by the dominant Packer fan who looked like Drew Carey and seemed to talk nonstop for the first 59 minutes and 59 seconds of the afternoon contest. .

The Men of Steel continued the recent custom of giving up touchdowns shortly after each touchdown. Fortunately we held the lead for most of the game thanks to a brilliant aerial performance from Ben Roeslisberger. By the third quarter it felt more like a Lakers game with the score changing on every possession. It really looked like the last team to hold the possession arrow would win. With each score, the Cheese Master would grow stronger. I eventually deduced that he had brought his daughter in what I thought was a sleazy but effective attempt to protect herself from abuse.

The low point of the game was reached midway through the fourth quarter when, with a slim lead, the stadium rocked to Styx’s “Renegade,” a defensive call to excellence with more than 60,000 burgesses yelling at globe-shattering decibels. ocular. This rally had served well in the last few years’ Super Bowl run, but instead of inspiring the D into an iron curtain stance, the Packers jammed the ball downfield for a close-range touchdown. As the Pack quickly returned the ball, the cheese carrier behind me yelled, “Maybe they should play Renegade again.” Only the fact that he had brought his daughter saved Mr. Cheese from tripping over the stadium railing.

Green Bay finally took the lead with about a minute left in the game and the Steelers faltered enough on the kickoff to recover the ball at their own 10-yard line. Ninety-yard drives with no time on the clock may have become the Big Ben and the Steelers. rose to fame last year but this year the trend has been the opposite. Somehow they managed to get the ball into the red zone with just a couple of seconds left, but there was barely time left for one more play and the Green Bay fans lived in the reality of victory. When the clock ran out of time, the ball went flying out of bounds, surely past the outstretched fingers of rookie wide receiver Mike Wallace. I can’t imagine how many joints Mr. Wallace had to dislocate to get the necessary 6 inches out of his 6-foot frame to make the impossible catch possible, but he made that catch to give the Steelers a season-saving win.

My wife hit me like cheap London roast as we gloated with a passion no 7-7 team record should deserve. I then turned to see the Packers fans standing in silence, numb and drooling as if they had just won a free session of electro-shock therapy. This is why I write a check for season tickets every year.