Why would my estranged spouse be so emotionally detached?

Separated wives who are still committed to their marriages often look at their husband’s behavior in hopes of seeing clues of an ongoing emotional bond. After all, they may be having trouble, but have known each other (and been married) for quite some time. Presumably, you cannot just turn off your emotions simply because you are separate. And yet that seems to be exactly what some husbands can do.

Many wives describe their separated husbands as “separated” from marriage and family. These wives are understandably wondering what this will mean in the future. A wife might say, “Honestly, for most of our married life, my husband was really sensitive and caring. If something happened to me or our children, he would always be there, trying to help and showing concern. Two years ago , our marriage changed. I would have hung out there, but my husband wanted a separation. The idea was that hopefully this hiatus would allow us to eventually regroup and get back together. I just assumed that my husband would continue to care about (and be emotionally invested in) ) me and my kids. I guess I was wrong about that because the only way I can describe his behavior is to say that he is emotionally distant. When you speak to him, his voice is monotonous and his face shows no emotion. If I get angry, He doesn’t even try to comfort me or make any gestures towards me. Recently my kids and I had a little crash to the fender. We didn’t hurt each other, although our car did. The husband asked. He smeared if we were okay, but he didn’t seem moved. st and seemed more concerned about the damage to the car than about us. Why would a man who is normally sensitive and emotional be so detached? I just don’t get it and it’s freaking me out. “

Any conjecture as to why her husband is acting this way would be just speculation, but sometimes separated men try to reject their emotions because they don’t want to feel homesick, guilty, or remorse while trying to decide what they want. want. Below I will list some of the reasons I have seen when separated men act this way. Again, I’m just speculating. Your husband would be the best judge of your own behavior (assuming he will share his feelings with you).

You are trying to dull your feelings into numbness: People often assume that the person who initiated the separation ends up happily happy and living it while living apart, when in fact this is not the case. Every time your life changes and you are no longer with your loved ones, this can be painful and it can feel very strange. To blunt that, people can try to suppress their feelings, giving off this cold and distant personality. Ironically, they are acting this way because they worry too much or fear their own feelings, but their spouse often thinks they don’t feel anything at all.

He doesn’t want you to know how he feels: Another reason that separated spouses may seem distant is that he doesn’t want to warn you about how he is feeling. Many times, it is understandable that the wife regularly asks the husband how he feels and what he wants. The truth is, most of the time, you just don’t know the answers to these questions. So you are trying to be as serious as possible to discourage further questions. Men often just want to take the time to figure this out and don’t want to be rushed. They know that you are observing their behaviors and behavior to try to figure out what is going on. And they are trying to prevent me from doing so (because they are well aware that their feelings are fluctuating and confused at the moment). They don’t necessarily want to share the feelings that could change. The indifferent person is just a defense mechanism.

He is legitimately continuing to have difficulties: Sometimes the cold and distant person you see is a continuation of the man who was struggling emotionally or who was so dissatisfied that he wanted a separation. Unfortunately, their unhappiness is not always immediately resolved once they break up. Sometimes it just takes a little time. So the behavior you see now could simply be a continuation of the behavior you saw before the breakup.

This does not necessarily mean that things will never get better. Things change. Feelings change. Perceptions change and situations change. Actually, my husband was distant and cold for quite some time. I think I actually made things worse by always demanding answers that my husband was not willing to give. Because of this, he felt that he had to be reserved and cold.